Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Chilito Numnutz to Spearhead Nude Flight Program in Name of National Security

what? you're frickin' suprized? incredulous? wtf? of course bush's secret hatchet man is a kristian killer klown. truth of the matter is, flyonthewall smuggled this image of chilito to rory's hard drive. chilito's true identity is not even known by the president. he only reveals himself to a select few while in his kkk suit, as depicted here. now that we've got that little detour out of the way, lemme tell you, chilito claims to have solved the airline security problem.

A memorandum he has distributed to Homie Security Head Miguel Cherkoff, rumbo, w, and chainee, says, among other things: "check-in would be expedited and security enhanced if airline passengers traveled naked and shackled to the seats. a slightly harsher version of this has proven entirely safe in transporting enemy combatants, known terrorists, and innocent captures all over the world in recent years on our 'black flights'. shackling would actually enhance our ability to respect privacy as it would largely obviate the need for cavity searches, since the passenger would be denied access to any instrumentalities that might be carried in the form of what is known in the parlance of the trade as 'koester weapons.'"

Polls of airline passengers yielded suprising results: 47% said they would gladly travel nude and shackled into their seats if it meant they were safe and delays for security screening could be reduced. (Compare to earlier numbers regarding willingness to submit to cavity searches in the name of safety). roryshock: Submit to a cavity search? "By all means go ahead," respond many, particularly if the "war on terror" is mentioned!


Blogger Rory Shock said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:12 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

I don't think so! The administration has to do it first...then I might give it a go. One look at "Dick" Cheney will stop this thing in its tracks.

12:10 AM  
Blogger enigma4ever said...

OMG...you are killing me Rory...too funny and then SUMO had to go and mention Dick and I am dying here..lordy....thank you ...everyone should have a laugh like this at 5am...

( I don't even want to know WHERE you found THE CLown photo or the AIR shot)

1:52 AM  
Blogger a rose is a rose said...

man, i hate it when you post killa klowns. they scare me and i'm usually so very brave. then again, this whole king and his court scare me. far beyond court jesters.

thanks for posting the truth dear mr shock

2:45 AM  
Blogger glenda said...

'koester weapons.'" HAHA!!! That's rich.

6:04 AM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Yeah, Rose and I don't do clowns well.

Is it possible to be scared of being scared?

The next person that brings the vision of cheney's but to mind will be prosecuted.

7:36 AM  
Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

I would love flying naked. What a great way to meet people

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

naked and shackled, hmmm, sounds like chilito has spent time at the business-end of a dominatrix's whip (snap!), maybe that's how his nutz got numbed. D.K.

4:10 PM  
Blogger thepoetryman said...


Stewardess, when are you serving dinner?

6:03 PM  
Blogger JBlue said...

But nudity is evil! John Ashcroft says so.

Ha! Saw a segment on the news today that said the TSA has a new strategy in the airports: train officers to go around looking for people blinking too much.

6:19 PM  
Anonymous Libby said...

LOL Rory. But it's sadly true that the sheeple would agree to it if they thought it made them safer. Nevermind the unchecked cargo tubes ticking away under their feet.

8:22 PM  
Blogger Tina said...

OMG... flying butt nekked... that certainly gives new meaning to SNAKES on a PLANE, no?

1:10 AM  
Blogger Horny Old Guy said...

Holy Shit! You mean I'll have to look at some of those people I see waddling through the airport completely naked? That is true TERROR my friends! I used to have masturbation fantasies about naked flight attendants but that's a different story!

6:47 AM  
Anonymous karena said...

If TSA is looking for compulsive blinkers it's a damned good thing that Bush does not fly commercially. And, he is a know terrist.

5:52 PM  
Blogger JBlue said...

Karena, clearly the man is hiding something...er, things....

11:04 AM  
Blogger gugon said...

The jobs of the stewards and stewardesses would have to be expanded a bit.

Their responsibilities will now include scratching things that passengers can't reach.

5:30 AM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

ha ha ha!!!!!

11:35 PM  

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