Saturday, July 22, 2006

BAD TOUCH: THE TRUTH ABOUT BUSH'S ASSAULT ON GERMAN CHANCELLOR ANGELA MERKEL'S SHOULDERS

perhaps a handful of the rory-reading handful will recall the previous bush-merkel post that exposed w lusting after german chancellor merkel after he "glimpsed her soul" and revealed that the first fuckwad fully expected to get lucky during his german visit. well the ugly happened and rory is frickin' here to tell you about it.

but first, letz visit the frickin' shoulder-rub issue. a number of bloggers have posted about bush's uncontrolled urge to touch angela acted out at G-8. out of context, it just looks like an asinine unwanted touching. well, it was an unwanted touching, well, okay, it's also asinine. but you gotta understand the context. rory's gonna give ya the context. but maybe you should watch the video of the shoulder rub first, so you understand. it'll put the context in frickin' context. so here's a link to bluegalinaredstate where you can watchit. then come back for the frickin' truth about the pathetic primate peace-making gestures of the most destructive naked ape on this spinnin' rock.

THE TRUE CONTEXT -- A RORYSHOCK EXCLUSIVE:

The most flatulent president in history arrived for his recent visit with Chancellor Angela Merkel in Germany full of hope and methane.

After a briefing on Israeli bombings, w bears down while hoping to take advantage of nearly ideal men's room acoustics while standing before a urinal in a Bavarian men's room:



recall from evidence revealed in rory's previous post on them, bush and merkel have been lusting madly after each other, their libidos engorged by the aphrodisiac of power and privilege.



Things were looking good. Angela was jolly and playful. She adored George's fratboy playfulness as the day unfolded. George goes oral on an invisible herring. what a fuckin' cutup. how could any woman resist?



Ah, yes, Angela anticipated a grand old time herself.



And she wasn't shy about letting georgie porgie know.



if ya frickin' know what i mean.



w had many chances to amuse angela. he has just told her, "we used to call this the "A-B" for "anal blowtorch" when I was at yale," as he prepares to 'light a fart' with a candle in a cathedral. Laura, however, has seen the stunt one too many times and takes advantage of her complete lack of honest affect to hide her deeply buried disgust.



earlier, as an esteemed historian gave tour of the cathedral, georgie porgie released his infamous "screaming mouse" fart and angela marveled at the aftermath.



later, after a quick mention of beer and brats, w took advantage of leather-chair acoustics.



porgie speechified, mainly thinking that he looked and sounded cool for angela. however, he had a bad few seconds as he froze, as shown in this photo. his SAPS (spontaneously acquired paralytic syndrome) kicked in due to his overstimulation and he froze like a robot losing power. some say a secret service man presses a button labeled "reset" to bring him back to life, raising a question of whether this a syndrome is a pathology or a malfunctioning electronic device issue. but fact is, a frickin' loud handclap brings him "back" on like a cheap lamp. angela knows this as rory noted in the previous bush/merkel post. you can see her preparing to "bring him back."



ah yes, as the day wore on they had fun and anticpation intensified.



if ya know what rory meanz



although porgie's fantasy depicted immediately above was not to be the scenario. ya see angela is into a whole dark germanic zombie-sex kinda scene, according the flyonthewall.



oh fly, oh beautiful intergalactic traveler for truth! where the frick would rory be without you?



check out this frickin' image telepathically transferred to rory's hard drive by fly. it shows angela putting the devil's cowl over georgie porgie just before love play is to begin in earnest. oh porgie! oh angela! if you had known there was a flyonthewall would you have even cared at that point?



ah, rory, don't get frickin' ahead of yourself. earlier in the day, instincts excited, angela and porgie hacked off chunks of pig flesh charred like the remains-of-lebanese-children-cooked-by-american-bombs-delivered-by-israelis. with reckless abandon and strong appetite the powerful pair hacked and chewed as admiring german men in green hats and others in lederhosen (not pictured) watched with fascination.



angela made playful comments about the president's piece of pork.



throughout the day, angela cared not what the wagging tongues said about her plans for fun with porgie.



nor did porgy give a rat's ass. why porgie cared what people thought about as much as he gives a shit about world opinion or the position of his citizens on iraq or lebanon. proud to display his piece of pork to angela, porgie was.



later, she complained that it didn't feel like much more than he had on his fork



like his brutality, porgie's ability to disappoint the leaders of the frickin' freeworld knows no bounds. you see, all of this happened before the frickin' should-rub incident. now angela's reaction makes a little more frickin' sense don't it? georgie porgie, frickin' puddin' and pie.



big frickin' surprise, huh? things turned out badly on porgie's watch AGAIN. no exit strategy? he fershure didn't plan that far. fucksakes the 'wad didn't even have a decent entry strategy. according to angel it's so fuckin' bad that:

17 Comments:

Blogger Hobbs von Wackamole said...

Goodness, Rory. It is a PLEASURE to meet you! I think you and I need to join forces here! We have much to discuss.

Also, I'd love to invite you to join our group blog - you can visit it in my links, its simply called WOW. Check it out, and if you'd like to join, let me know. I'll have to spend some time here at your blog, getting to know you.

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rory, you are an endless font, may you flow forever. the frickin context indeed. now it's all so clear. another person disappointed with georgie's "little" performance. and WHAT was that oral herring all about? D.K.

12:23 PM  
Anonymous karena said...

I had no idea that he does not even know how to pleasure himself properly and I am glad that Angela has pointed this out and confirmed his stupidity beyond any reasonable doubt.

12:33 PM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

hobbs, welcome and thanks and likewise ... will spend some time over at your place(s) cool ...
dk ... thanks for comin' by ... re: the herring pick ... I don't think any human has posed for so many inexplicably goofy pictures as porgie ... karena ... yeah, calling the man a "jerkoff" is actually giving him more credit than he deserves ...

1:03 PM  
Blogger a rose is a rose said...

oh my goddess mr shock, i was awaitin' for you and the fly to post this. you didn't disappoint

1:31 PM  
Blogger Tina said...

I happen to have the actual video of the lil German man responsible for covering for W when he goes into his SAPS (spontaneously acquired paralytic syndrome).
LINK: http://www.clipjunkie.com/The-Bush-pilot-vid112.html
It is a nasty job... but somebody's gotta do it.

3:02 PM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

howdiddly doo rose ... tina that was excellent ... anyone who hasn't seen it should definitely check out tina's link ...

3:23 PM  
Blogger glenda said...

(Sound of thundering applause, footstamping and whistling.) That was a great way to get a belly laugh out of me. Have forwarded this one on.
Ay, caramba, but it feels good to laugh in the midst of all his war sorrow.

3:58 PM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

glenda: thanks ... despite his ability to cause suffering worthy of hitler, bush is indeed a buffoon ... john wayne gacy of the freeworld ... killer klown

4:46 PM  
Blogger enigma4ever said...

Rory- you are just killing me...I thought the McNipple Art would do me in...but this is Outstanding...and apparently you Know much more about about the Womanly Wiles of the Angela than most of us...OMG...the poor woman...( and look at all the praise rolling in- an invitation from the infamous Hobbs Von Wackamole...sigh I am envious...)Keep up the fine "work"...( oh, and just for the record- NOT all women are so adventurous as ol'Angela...)
[[[[[ ]]]]]] {applause}

5:03 PM  
Blogger PTCruiser said...

As always, Mr. Shock you have gone above and beyond the call to put everything "bushy" into perspective. Thank you.

9:46 PM  
Blogger dusty said...

Praise jesus for this post..it explains everything very well..and I needed a laugh this time o night. Thank you Mr. Shock..you rock.

3:54 AM  
Blogger MichaelBains said...

LOL!

I can add nothing more.

5:44 AM  
Anonymous GuerrillasintheMidst said...

Rory, check your mailbox...unless of course, NSA made an intercept...

11:53 AM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

guerillas ... just check mailbox @1640 Eastern ... nothin' there from ya'll today ... INTERCEPT DETECTED ... will check back ...

1:46 PM  
Blogger gugon said...

They're at it again. The horror. The horror...

Thanks to flyonthewall for revealing this.

9:37 AM  
Blogger JBlue said...

OMG, you are totally insane, and I LOVE IT! I mean that in the best way.

3:21 PM  

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