while senators called for abolition of fema and creation of a bureaucracy with a different name there has been an agency coup: FEMA has been abolished

Just as he was away reading a story to chldren in a school on 9/11, the president was conveniently out of town. This time he was in New Orleans for a ludicrous photo opportunity in which he insulted the intelligence of nearly 3 quarters of North America by pretending to assist in the building of a house:



We all know that FEMA has pissed off many powerful people. No not him:



one of the real powers behind the coup and a possible explanation for why he was pissed off:



while the nation was listening to the sideshow from the senate about abolition of fema, there was an agency coup, perhaps the first complete violent overthrow of just one US government bureaucracy in history. nevertherless, this was not the first coup within the US government during the w years. as we know various parts of the judicial system have been abolished, such as those requiring hearings, notice, warrants, etc., in many cases. abolishing fema without waiting for congress is no frickin' biggie. fema will be operated by a consortium of private contractors led by Jerkwater Security Associates, a leading mercenary corporation, and a disney subsidiary. FEMA employees were completely taken by surprise. Many thought they were being paid a visit of appreciation at first. But this was to be no lameass morale booster this time.









The gas mask designed by Walt Disney has been adopted as the official gas mask of the new agency, Homeland Executive Response and Preparedness Emergency Services (HERPES).


this has been a test of the emergency broadcasting system. had this been a real agency coup, well, that would've been frickin' amazing.

Department of Defense Announces Sale of Advertising Space on Munitions to Help Defray War Costs

From the Christian Science Monitor:
During the Afghan campaign, sailors on the USS Enterprise wrote a homophobic message on a bomb destined for Afghanistan, leading to complaints from gay rights groups. Rear Adm. Stephen Pietropaoli warned his men to more closely edit such "spontaneous acts of penmanship," and suggested that the Navy should "keep the messages positive."

But ... someone in the US Air Force ... caused offense by writing a vulgar slur about the French on a bomb (aimed at Iraq, that is, not France). Senior American officers said the anti-French message "crossed the line" of acceptability ...

gotta keep the frickin' messages on bombs positive. this is indeed some psychotic shit goin' on.



clickitup pleaz:



or maybe:


Think the frickin' McFalafel is far-fetched? well, as those who read the post before last know, w touted the McCurry as a sign of international progress and partnership with india. the McCurry is all too real:



McCurry pan? rory sez: looks more like a frickin' used McBed pan.



back to the frickin' subject at hand: bombs and advertising. there are thousands of unexploded munitions lying around iraq from the current and previous conflicts. the coalition has used clusterfuck bombs. holy frickin' shit rummy and crew think: "the advertising potential is multiplied by the use of clusterfuck munitions." all those little bomblets from one big bomb. nevertheless, under Department of Defense Guidelines, the messages, promotional or otherwise, must remain positive, even on these sub-bomblets [clickitup].




sometimes there is collateral damage in the big advertising campaign for democracy. well what the fuck canya expect when the medium is the frickin' message?




clusterfuck bomb war crimes

clusterfuck bomb child victims

Ronald McDonald Impersonator Fired for Inappropriate Sock Puppet Comments

for frickin' reference:



Billy Suggs, aka Ronzo the Klown, has been questioned by the FBI. No charges have been filed to date. "McDonald's will provide critical debriefing and counseling to all affected by this unfortunate situation," according to a corporate press release.

effigies 'r' us to open chain stores in india -- demand for bush related effigy supplies predicted to stay strong through 4th quarter

why not start with an arguably irrelevant, arguably relevant image of a part of a rory collage, currently titled something like "War, uh, how frickin' silly it is, good god, in the grand scheme of cosmic time." by the way, the circular thingies are a medium used by rory that rory has yet to meet another using so if you know someone who does use the medium put 'em in touch with rory ... uh, the medium is ... aspirin. yep aspirin. because war gives rory a frickin' headache. and an aspirin painted with rory's special aspirin painting technique (classes forming for the year 2020) relieves the headache just a tad somefrickin'times.


remember when bush was in india and speechifyin' about all the opportunities for north american small business that globalization and the rise of an indian consumer class would bring? over in india w said: "Americans who come to this country will see Indian consumers buying McCurry Meals from McDonald's, home appliances from Whirlpool." that's a frickin direct quote
somewhere else w made a comment essentially saying "american worker, you may have lost your job to outsourcing, globalization, corporations willing to export production to the slave rather than import the slave to production, but heck, there gonna be a lot of opportunities to sell american shit to people in india." somewhere the first fuckwad pretty much said that. rory thought to himself. well, there's nothin' really made here to sell there ... because it's cheaper to make it there and more profitible to sell it here. so, what the fuck is he talkin' about? but then rory stops worryin' and starts thinkin'. well, he is the first fuckwad, after all. an' he says that those who have been fucked economically here should think about entruhprunurin' over in india. so rory starts thinkin' sommore. what izit that would sell over there that we could make over here. then rory realizes the answer is simple: effigies. effigies are big in india. but most of them look pretty shitty. everybody loves a good effigy, but nobody seems to love 'em as much as the indians. they like to burn bush. they like to burn pretty much anything that pisses 'em off. but take a look at the sorry ass type of effigy they are willing to work with. this one is bush:



from an earlier rory post (don't forget to clickitup):




then rory startz to thinkin' sommore. this is a market willing to accept really shoddy merchandize. frickin' captalist's dream. really shoddy and flammable merchandize. and in india, pissed off people get stoked burning just about anything. here'a an onion burning in effigy to protest onion prices goin' up:



rory gives this one a decent rating. it's an indian politician. look at the happiness in the faces in the crowd. effigy making is a feel good industry. the effigypruhnewer can make statements like a disney frickin' exec: we're imagineers, smile-merchants, catharsis-capitalists. hfs:



the finest work I've seen thus far has been from bhopal, where union carbide massacred many and left a legacy of horror, an early example of globalization at its finest. here a crowd carries union carbide ceo warren anderson to his fiery fate. still, one could criticize the abe lincolnesque semi-stovepip hat. still, anachronistic garb can tweak the brain in an interesting way:



in the UK, people avail themselves of mass-produced masks. this demonstrates that type of technology that can easily be adapted to enable high-quality effigy production by even those lacking time, artistic skills, and substantial funding, while allowing a substantial profit for the effigypruhnewer:



this bush effigy in prague isn't the best likeness, but it demonstrates the application of rudimentary puppet technology, which market research suggests would sell well in india if price can be kept low:



people like large effigies. here's an example of a large, lightweight effigy (bush being toppled in trafalgar square) which includes the ever-popular phallic missile motif:



in addition to being a fine example of phallic use of the missile, the above photo shows that toppling can be as satisfying as burning to a crowd.

this is meant to be a strangelovean donald rumsfeld riding a phallic munition:



the following effigy by hezbollah erected near the fatimah gate suggests that phallic use of missiles in conjunction with effigies has universal appeal. thus, marketers targeting india will want to include easy to use phallic munition options in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors to add profit.



granted, the hezbollah effigy is of a more two dimensional variety, but the photographic reproduction of bush's visage is excellent. storage and stealth issues would suggest that the effigy retailer would be wise to stock both two and three dimensional effigies and accessories. but rory gives it fairly high markz as far as bush effigies go. you can almost hear the effigy saying:

"I'm a war president.  I make decisions here in the Oval Office in foreign-policy matters with war on my mind.  Again, I wish it wasn't true, but it is true.  And the American people need to know they got a president who sees the world the way it is.  And I see dangers that exist, and it's important for us to deal with them."
the famous I'm a war president interview

the creators of this effigy might be engaged as designers for the high-end market:



the above could have been entered in international competition and had a reasonable chance of winning a prize. there has already been a best bush effigy contest in iran. again, effigy marketers and contest promoters take note.

rory sez: the effigy industry's gonna be bigger than McCurry. why the american middle class will frickin' rise again on the greenbacks of burning bushes. the war president? hell, he's the opportunity president, I guess, the way he's opening up those new markets in india. and speakin' of McCurry, recall this image, which demonstrates that those offended by McCurrization are going to be another fertile market for ready-made effigies:




finally, for some reason, rory leaves you with another arguably relevant arguably irrelevant image from a rory collage:

rory returnz with a ramblin' post, after wandering off the path

Hard to know where to start after a few days. in this wacked high speed world bein' gone for even a short time can make you feel a little like rip van winkle.



rory posted on the Easter Egg Roll at the House of Death and then internet access died for a couple of days. rory doesn't believe in such things necessarily, but it was almost as if it was meant to be that way. Like that was all rory had to say for awhile. Like rory had to sit with what that little post meant to him. cause rory is more of a what's happening to one human child guy than a big picture policy guy. rory really made himself feel his sorrow with that post. and such warm, beautiful comments came in from beautiful denizens of the blogosphere, a bunch while rory had no 'net. Meanwhile the White House bomb makers prepared for the Egg Roll:



or wuzit:



in the meantime, I heard that W was gonna give a press conference on global warming and his vision for protecting momma roundrock.



but then rory heard another rumor that he was gonna make another victory landing on the lincoln with several pairs of donnie rumsfeld's dirty socks stuffed into the crotch of a more colorful flightsuit with corporate endorsements explicity printed right on it:



with no 'net, rory had no way of telling whether these were just rumorz.

meanwhile, roryz hand which had gotten banged up at work a couple weeks ago was gettin' better. it had served as a reminder to be thankful for a body currently working and in possession of two hands and ten fingers. a reminder not to take it for granted. a little corporeal post-it note that made me think of kids missing arms, fingers and hands due to the CLUSTERFUCK. when rory sez kids he means all the kids suffering amputations and other maimings at the hands of bushcheney and yankee-fuckin'-doodle-w-has-confidence-in-his-wrinkled-white-mass-killer's-ass-rumsfeld -- all the kids, the ones in uniform from the US and the ones who should be playing and going to school in Iraq.

the banged up hand took rory to the doctor a couple times. the last time was to get clearance to get off "light duty." so as rory leaves the doctor's office he spies this skunk. In a driveway behind the strip mall where the doctor's office is:



the little critter, this member of the weasel family, is lying on the pavement eating some crusts that some of the immigrant kitchen workers at a pizzeria have set out for her. I get pretty close to her, because I can see that she is nearly unconscious. not rabid, rory doesn't think. just very, very old. life ebbing from her cells, as they say. the day not too hot. not too cold. a breeze ruffling through her lovely fur.



rory talks to the kitchen workers. they say a cop had just been there, but said he couldn't do anything about it. they had thought he would shoot the skunk. a woman walks by headed for the nail salon paying little attention to the skunk. when a skunk is down and out it becomes invisible in plain sight just like a person. rory goes to the nearby veterinarian's office in the same strip mall. they know about the skunk. nothing they can do. animal control is not interested in the situation. it's up to the landlord of the strip mall and the landlord doesn't want to deal with it. rory feelz happy. nobody is taking jurisdiction over the skunk. nobody is trapping it or killing it. it is being allowed to live out its last few hours with a breeze blowing through its fur and a little bit of food to munch in the presence of humans treating it with kindness and respect. at least that's how it looked at the moment. somebody might have done something later. or maybe rory got the whole picture wrong. rory hopz not. there is nothing wrong with letting a wild animal die a natural death. even in an unnatural place.

all that for some reason reminded rory that sometimes it is better to do nothing. don't just do something. sit there. people are doing way too much out there these days. often doing nothing does the least harm. so no net. a bum hand. a sad post. and a message to do nothing. an absence of few days for rory.

Then there was a birthday celebration for one of roryz sisters-in-law. prepare a gift rory. don't blog. prepare a gift. rory prepares a gift:



a "mask" rory made. a silver tongue painted. a mask that reminds one to stick one's tongue out at the world. an agate third eye to conjure vision through the shitstorm raging out there. shit like that.

a quick walk by the river before the birthday dinner. an oh so brief checkin with the clock of living nature. easter sunday. the dutchman's breeches are blooming along the edge of the woods.



every once in awhile, rory likes has to take the advice: don't just do something, sit there. not that I've been sitting. far from it. my body has been a movin'. but my brain, it's been sittin'. meanwhile the internet access got fixed, maybe right this time, 'twas a problem up the pole across the street, rory appreciated the comments from the beautiful souls who checked in with the last post, and roryz copy of Baghdad Burning arrived from the Feminist Press. rory hadn't spent any time to speak of at Riverbend's famous blog from occupied Iraq until recently. Baghdad Burning ... such eloquence. such a capture of the reality of life in Iraq for one intelligent, brave, scared, heartbroken young woman. rory'll be reading the collection in the book and following her blog. in spare moments. rory is already worried about her. funny how this blogging world works on your mind and soul. riverbend hasn't posted since April 2. where are you riverbend? there must be so many who want to kill this beautiful heroic spirit. but then her internet access is sporadic, with electricity coming and going, among other problems. her sorrow and depression must be overwhelming. and indeed there must be many days now in Baghdad where the safest thing an educated woman blogger can do is ... nothing.

To those of you who missed rory during this brief hiatus, know this: rory missed you as well. rory has much catching up to do. rory will be visiting his blog neighbors. the hour is late and tomorrow will be a long hard day. so most visiting will have to wait just a little bit longer. brothers and sisters rory luvz you.

Time for the Easter Egg Roll on the Lawn of the House of Death -- Some Kids Left Behind

The Bush administration loves children so much, it continues the tradition of opening the White House grounds on Easter Sunday so kids can have fun pushing Easter Eggs across the lawn.


The Easter Bunny will be in attendance this year, as in years past.



The Bushes love kids. Maybe Laura will read to some of the kids at the Easter Festivities.



Maybe this child would like to hear the story:



Mrs. Cheney looks so jolly. Aren't the character costumes grand?



Maybe this little boy would enjoy the fancy costumes the administration has prepared to delight the kids.



This woman has been taking questions about the Easter Egg Roll on the White House web site. Her name is Sarah Armstrong.



In response to one question Ms. Armstrong named some of the characters who will be present this year: "We have a wonderful group of entertainers, magicians, and strolling characters this year. For example, Aly & AJ will sing the National Anthem, as well as, perform at one of the entertainment stages later in the day. In addition, Jack Hanna will delight children with all sorts of animals. Strolling around will be Curious George, Cookie Monster, Clifford the Big Red Dog, characters from the animated movie “Ice Age,” and many others."

rory has a question for ms. armstrong. what fun do you have in store for this little girl, Eman, whose family was machine-gunned by U.S. Marines?




According to Time Magazine:

When the Marines entered [her] house, they were shouting in English. "First, they went into my father's room, where he was reading the Koran," she claims, "and we heard shots." According to Eman, the Marines then entered the living room. "I couldn't see their faces very well—only their guns sticking into the doorway. I watched them shoot my grandfather, first in the chest and then in the head. Then they killed my granny." She claims the troops started firing toward the corner of the room where she and her younger brother Abdul Rahman, 8, were hiding; the other adults shielded the children from the bullets but died in the process. Eman says her leg was hit by a piece of metal and Abdul Rahman was shot near his shoulder. "We were lying there, bleeding, and it hurt so much. Afterward, some Iraqi soldiers came. They carried us in their arms. I was crying, shouting 'Why did you do this to our family?' And one Iraqi soldier tells me, 'We didn't do it. The Americans did.'"

Time Magazine on the Haditha Massacre

what one Marine in Iraq had to say about the Massacre

rory sez: it's important to read what's at both these links. only a fool will take this post as attacking U.S. service people in general. the Marine blogger linked obviously doesn't feel any more positive about what happened in to Eman's family and others than does rory.