Vaccine for Imaginary Bird Flu Pandemic to be ready by 2009 -- Fear Levels Rise Despite Lack of Danger
Well the fear mongers, bullshit artists, and science-ignoring bastards are afoot. Secretary of we-don't-need-no-education Margaret (I’m from Texas directed W’s 1994 gubernatorial campaign and ‘authored’ the no child left behind law) Spellings is speechifying school officials with visions of schools being closed, becoming quarantine internment camps, and transforming into “make-shift hospitals” or “vaccine sites.” 
Mike Leavitt, Health and Human Services Secretary, is blathering about a fantasy scenario in which 92,000,000 people in N.A. come down with H5N1, despite this being impossible. Snortin’ Gale Norton is takin’ questions at the Whitehouse website. Homeland Security is talking about bird flu preparedness. And meanwhile, the scientific evidence shows that the H5N1 virus is next to impossible to transmit from human to human, a prerequisite for a human pandemic. rory asks: Has the whole fuckin’ world gone mad? Approximately .3 out of the more than 6 billion people on the spinnin’ rock died in the last 24 hours from bird flu. Recall from Rory’s recent post that well over 5000 died worldwide from diarrheal disease in the last 24. More people are dying from fucking autoerotic asphyxiation than from bird flu. But it's whole lot easier to prepare for the impossible pandemic than to get ready for some shit that's really gonna go down. I mean, it's pretty hard to fuckin' appear to fail, innit? Unless a lotta people happened to notice the waste of billions of bux on useless shit, like vaccines for non-existent pandemics that won't be ready until even the fantasy scenarios have played out. But people noticin' -- that ain't likely. More likely sales of bird flu preparedness kits are gonna remain strong. rory sez: I dunno bout you, but I'm just as fuckin' ready as I ever wanna be for the old H5N1. Bring it on mofo!
Research Shows Avian Flu Pandemic a Fantasy
Vaccine for Imaginary Pandemic Might be Ready by 2009
Mike Leavitt's Delusional Scenario
Spellings Spreads Fantasy Fear
Mike Leavitt, Health and Human Services Secretary, is blathering about a fantasy scenario in which 92,000,000 people in N.A. come down with H5N1, despite this being impossible. Snortin’ Gale Norton is takin’ questions at the Whitehouse website. Homeland Security is talking about bird flu preparedness. And meanwhile, the scientific evidence shows that the H5N1 virus is next to impossible to transmit from human to human, a prerequisite for a human pandemic. rory asks: Has the whole fuckin’ world gone mad? Approximately .3 out of the more than 6 billion people on the spinnin’ rock died in the last 24 hours from bird flu. Recall from Rory’s recent post that well over 5000 died worldwide from diarrheal disease in the last 24. More people are dying from fucking autoerotic asphyxiation than from bird flu. But it's whole lot easier to prepare for the impossible pandemic than to get ready for some shit that's really gonna go down. I mean, it's pretty hard to fuckin' appear to fail, innit? Unless a lotta people happened to notice the waste of billions of bux on useless shit, like vaccines for non-existent pandemics that won't be ready until even the fantasy scenarios have played out. But people noticin' -- that ain't likely. More likely sales of bird flu preparedness kits are gonna remain strong. rory sez: I dunno bout you, but I'm just as fuckin' ready as I ever wanna be for the old H5N1. Bring it on mofo!
posted by Rory Shock at 2:28 PM
20 Comments:
No fragiggling kidding! Toronto was a pretty weird place to be from when SARS chimpshit "broke out".
The only people who were afraid were the white middle-class and everyone from east asia (who were fearful of deportation).
Sigh...cough.
Thank you for blogging on this...so absurd...
Bird flu??? Chicken Little Flu....anything to distract us....
great post. if they can scare us into giving them their vote, great. if they can scare us into giving them our vote and our money, fucking super great.
is there a vaccine for auto erotic asphyxiation? poor poor michael hutchence
Then I'm not alone in my refusal to get my bloomers in a twist over this? Good!
My feeling is if the bird flu jumps the bird and hits the person to person speed, what the hell can we do about it? There is no cure as far as I've heard, so what should I do, panic? Nope, not worried about it because I have a much longer list of real things that scare the hell out of me. Things like a president who doesn't have to obey the law. I could list them all, but I imagine we all have about the same list.
It is pretty sad when we have a government that instills so little trust in the citizenry that we believe they will concoct stories of pandemics to scare the bejeebus out of us for political reasons. I wonder what Bush was trying to glean from the book he supposedly read about the Spanish flu. I am going to have to read that book to see what chilling, scary passages he memorized for future speeches.
Of course they have to keep scaring the hell out of us. They know that the big bad boogeyman image of Osama and the 1 legged Zawqari isn't working, so let's throw bird flu at people.
I'm a pre-school teacher and mom of a germy lil 3 yr old. I love my kids in my classroom, but they are just loaded full of germs and can make the healthiest person sick. So, I am always on the look out for ways to avoid my family getting sick.
I find it interesting that studies coming out of Asia are touting the Korean dish kim chee as able to help people fight off bird flu. Could it work? Who knows, but it is a food that is rich in vitamins and lots of vinegar. Vinegar is a natural antiseptic, so maybe it does help.
That said, I have to share with you about this product that I always take when I get sick or feel like I'm coming down with something. And, I am not a paid spokesperson nor do I own stock in this company (which may be Israeli) but if you checked out my blog this weekend you already know that I was beyond miserable with my aches, fever, chills, and endless snot... But whenever I am trying to fight a virus of any kind, I take 1 tablespoon every 4 hrs of this product: Sambucol.
It is elderberry syrup that a Romanian doctor invented after she studied the effects of eating lots of berries seemed to have on Israelis who fought off viruses while living in kibbutzes-- where the germs run rampant in that communal living setting. Could this work on bird flu? Who knows? All I know is that it does seem to work on viruses that I have had, including the regular flu. And it is perfectly safe to give to lil ones, as my own kiddo takes it everytime she has gets sick. It is important that she fight things herself rather than rely on any antibiotics.
A friend discovered this a few yrs ago and passed it along to me, and I swear by it. If you're able to catch your illness quick enough, you can totally avoid getting sick at all. But if a sickness catches you by surprise (as mine did this weekend) it shortens the length of time you are sick. I went to work today as usual, and all I feel is more tired than usual, and have a runny nose. Fever is gone. Aches are gone. The chills are gone. My cough is gone. Sore throat is gone. It is all natural and as far as I know, no one has ever built up an immunity to berry juice. I would sure as hell rather give a natural remedy a try than take ineffective Tamiflu (which only makes uber-stockholder Don Rumsfeld oodles of money).
So, my advice: Stock up on Sambucol, jars of kim chee, leave your shoes at the door so you do not track germs inside your home, and immediately after taking your coat off, wash your hands so you minimize the amount of germs you bring into your home's surfaces.
And no, I'm not a nurse or doctor.... but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express.
cool, tina ... lovely comment ... so where do you get this stuff, rory asks, not having searched on line yet?
Karena, thanks for visiting ... keep us posted on the Bush Spanish flu book thing. Nope POP not alone. Rose! lol ... I think the vaccine will be ready in 2011. From what I understand Rumsfeld likes to wear his necktie too tight when he's looking at those transgender W pix (in the rummy spanks da monkey post) ... yeah graeme ... fuck fear of bird flu! enigma ... yeah chicken little flu, exactly ... and you're a nurse so your opinion on this matter is worth a lot more than rory's ... hey no 6 ... yeah ... it's a high priority disease not only because it's a convenient fear seed, but also because it strikes regardless of social class and economic status, potentially, unlike most of that diarrheal disease and suchlike ... eh? Thanks for comment everyone.
Great blog you have here, very entertaining AND educational!
Besides the useless fear they are spreading, the only answer they give is to buy a bunch of shit. Stock up your pantry, buy more than you need, buy stuff you'll never use, but just buy, buy, buy, whether you can afford it or not. Politics of fear meets marketing of fear, of course resulting in windfall profits for the corporations from the pockets of the fearful. Great post! It so needed to be said.
Kathy, thanks mucho.
LG: I guess it is so much about marketing these days ain't it. There's now a bird flu industry department in the fear industry ... the marketed to masses aren't even permitted to make up their own minds about what they're scared of
Great post. The graphics were perfect, too.
Great post. It's good to hear someone cut through the BS.
With that said, do you wanna know what I heard? I heard that the bird flu causes the recently dead to rise and feed on the living. I'm not trying to scare anyone or cause any unneccesary concern, but you know, you can never be too prepared. Especially when it comes to bird virus zombification.
gugon, you meant "peck on the living" right? You ARE talking about BIRDS rising up/becoming zombies, right? I mean sparrows & finches I can handle, but I've seen some mean-ass fishing eagles that I wouldn't want to tangle with. D.K.
jublu thanks for the comment and for comin' by ... gugon ... sounds like a movie comin' on ... one that never was .... cool ....
wtf on that last comment? about making money secret shopping ... how about you identify your ass anonymous... yeah like rory's gonna fucking click on your link and enter a fucking zip code ... advice please for real bloggers ... what should rory do about this?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I think that bait/link must be like those little roadside signs that pop up everywhere "make money in your spare time, ask me how" and a phone number. Egad, does ANYONE ever call them? Don't click. And it wasn't me & I now I feel bad that I post anonymous & how can you tell the difference? Oh yeah, cuz maybe I might say something germane to your post? Secret handshake or davinci signal? Whoever that idiot was, I hope hesheit doesn't spoil it for all us paranoid anonymi in blogland. D.K.
no I didn't think it was you dk ... although you are partially anonymous ... i mean even if dk are not true initials, that's a moniker ... and like you said, you actually have things to say ... I don't really want to do "comment moderation" I guess maybe the verification thing would be good, though ... haven't done that yet and lotsa other folks do that ... wonder if that would stop such shit ...
rory, yes many other blogs have that verification thing, but I have no idea if that stops stuff. And dk initials could stand for pretty much anything including a rapper's idea of universal entrophy (decay). Or Das Kapital (but I'm not a communist or really any ist). Well, maybe here it could be "dueling kangaroos" or somesuch wildlife theme, I'd kind of like that. D.K. it is!
dueling kangaroos ... I like that too ,.. although it makes me think of a couple of the supreme court justices ... but I can get over that ...
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