Rory Declares National Brain Rape Awareness Day

Rory is sick and tired of all the brain rape out there. Within the last 24 hours 100% of all sentient Americans have had an act of Brain Rape or Attempted Brain Rape perpetrated against them. When you stop and think about all the violent, nonconsensual assaults on cranial equipment, it makes your frickin' head hurt!


The average American is cranially assaulted with complete bullshit by the government, the mass media, and religious officials over 14 million times by the age of 23.

The profile of the average brain rapist is: Republican, Conservative, Angry, Affluent, White, Male, and enamored of shooting small captive-raised birds.

There are significant numbers of serial brain rapists working at high levels of government, in the mass media, and in fundamentalist churches.

Brain rape is not a crime of knowledge or education. It is about power.

Brain rapists are not secure in their own brains. Most often they are victims of childhood brain rape.

Donald Rumsfeld is putting together a battle plan for what he secretly calls, according to Fly-On-the-Wall, "Operation Brain Rape." He is fond of saying:
"The mind of the American Public is nothing more than a nameless, vast, greased asshole, waiting to be subjugated by the big lie, roughly paraphrasing something Goebbels, or was it William Burroughs, once said."

Carl Rove is said to only experience twinges of something similar to sexual arousal when in cranial flagrante delicto.


Prezdent Bush spoke at the National Newspaper Associations Government Affairs Conference on March 10, rattling off the same old claptrap ad nauseum. Here are a few bits that stuck in Rory's craw from the recent W flight of verbal flatulence and fancy:

W spews a bunch of energy related bullshit (yeah he talks about frickin' clean coal again ... sign me up for that and some clean dogshit and maybe some non-toxic DDT as well) and then says:
"Same on the electricity front. We can use wind power and electricity. These are all coming to the market because of research. They're becoming competitive forms of energy."
[rory sez: Holy Shit, electricity is becoming a competitive form of energy! When the fuck did that happen? Man, I must've been sleepin' for a long time. Can someone send me a link to any recent headlines to the effect of "ELECTRICITY COMES TO THE MARKET IN THE 21ST CENTURY DUE TO RESEARCH."]

"If you're interested in talking about No Child Left Behind, you can ask me about it. I'm a firm believer. I believe it's changing public education for the better because we're measuring."
[rory sez: "We're measuring." We ain't paying teachers well. We're cutting Federal Aid to education. Schools in the poorest areas of NYC and other places are literally crumbling, but we're fucking "measuring." Measuring to "end social promotion," not measuring to improve education. It's no fuckin' mystery what is needed. Feed on feces, dude.]

"I'm a big believer in what's called health savings accounts because it puts consumers in charge of health care decisions, and we strongly urge small businesses to look at this vehicle."
[rory sez: see rory's earlier post on this health savings account horseshit.]

"Secondly, the health care is an inefficient industry -- when you really think about what information technology has done to your business, providing better productivity increases, as well as interesting challenges, by the way. The same productivity increases haven't happened in health care. I mean, you've got a guy writing down prescriptions by hand, and/or files being written by hand, and doctors don't write so good anyway, which leads to medical error, and inefficiencies. So information technology, which we're now advancing here at the federal level, in conjunction with providers throughout the country, to develop a common vocabulary, so that eventually there will be electronic medical records, with ample privacy protections available, will help wring out some of the costs of health care."
.
[rory sez: Can't believe the sumbitch even has the nerve to take this flaccid bit of language out of his drawers and try to stuff it into the American brain again. Yep them Doctors they don't write so good. And well, that there information technology, since the Fedrul guvment is lookin' into that, I'm a thinkin' that the health care folks should do the same. See, 'cause if the health insurance industry got somma them, whaddya callit, yeah, computers, that's what they's called, they could provide real good health care to all them American peoples out there.]

"Health care costs are driven by frivolous lawsuits."
[rory sez: brain rape is monotonous, unfeeling, mindless, wrong, and repetitious, as evidenced by this claim so worn out its got scabs on its scabs.]

After saying, "I want to talk about the war on terror right quick," Bush threw out the following brutal but pathetically stupid mind-fucker with a completely straight face: "And there's no doubt in my mind that the United States is more secure ... without Saddam Hussein in power."
[rory sez: Don't even get that claim anywhere near my brain. You frickin' lying thought pervert! And what the fuck is this "right quick" shit? You ain't really a frickin' redneck there Yale boy. You are the fucking Prezdent of the United States, you need to talk good, 'specially when you talkin' to them paper folks, some of them knows that grammar thing.]

"[W]e cannot let terrorists find safe haven. They found safe haven in Afghanistan, where they could plot and plan and attack. And, therefore, it's very important for the United States to deny safe haven."
[rory sez: 4 words: What about Saudi Arabia?]

Safe Haven. Frivolous Lawsuits. Different kind of war. War on terror. Addicted to oil. No child left behind. Clean coal. My dad fought the Japanese now I'm buddies with the Japanese P.M. Well folks this recent talk is full of rehashed, reconstituted, and reflung bullshit. The usual topics and other nuggets to mine that Rory didn't touch on in this post. Well, I'm done readin' the Bushit for the moment, so I guess I can remove my brain condom.

The NSA is apparently blocking Rory's ability to link directly to the transcript of the aforementioned horsehit speechifying by the Prezdent. If you want to read it, the official whitehouse site has it linked on its home page.

May your cranium remain unviolated. And please, maintain Brain Rape Awareness at All Times! The Price of Freedom of Thought is Eternal Vigilance!