Tuesday, May 16, 2006

rory callz for MILLION MOON mass ass baring at spy satellites on june 11th -- spread the frickin' word

howdy friends, immigrants and countrypeople. we all know that bigbro-und-co are trackin' our phone calls. rory, like so many others, has long suspected the fuckwads of watching us from above. figured there's probably some nsa hack sitting in a dark room zoomin' the old satellite in on nude sunbathers and wankin' somewhere in the "control room" in a hollowed out guvmint mountain. turns out there's a whole frickin' agency unto itself. They can look down on your backyard barbie and tell ya what's for dinner. google earth ain't nothin' compared to what these 'wads scope out on a regular basis. one of the most tightly guarded guvmint secrets is the level of resolution available to unkle scam.

who is doin' this shit? It ain't the nsa. not the cia. not the dod. its the nga. that doesn't stand for nitwits golf association. stands for geospatial intelligence agency. at their claptrap ridden site spattered with corporatese nonsense about their "committment" to such things as "excellence" you will learn that they are "committed to Customers both as a National Intelligence and a Combat Support Agency." "Customers?" What the fuck is that about? They spy for the NSA. They spy for the CIA. They provide military intelligence. They are a governmental agency themselves. the fuckin' nsa is their "customer." have they "privatized" themselves? probably so, 'cause they sure as shit sound like a buncha wankers. well, in any frickin' event, you can also read a little 'bout 'em here. Sure, they say they don't spy on individuals. they say don't lookat the little picture. trust us they say. fuck that. roryz rule of thumb with the current guvmint on issues of domestic spying: 1. don't frickin' believe them. 2. whatever they deny doin' they are frickin' doin' with a vengeance. rory became even more convinced that the average shmo is getting scoped when he checked the nga children's section. and found this high dollar guvmint cartoon which is apparently integral to our national defense:


as soon as they start talkin' 'bout keepin' us "safe" and couple that with innocent cartoon characters with big old ass surveilling eyeballs these days, you can be sure they are spyin' on us. yep. thatsa frickin' fact.

Digression: Here at rory shock we're "committed to [frickin'] excellence" as well. committed to excellence. committed to excellence. now tell me that frickin' phrase isn't long since deceased and utterly meaningless. I don't frickin' wanna hear that phrase again until there is a secure mental health facility named "excellence." nuff said 'bout that shit.

back to the point here. rory is calling for a million moon mASS action to protest global surveillance. show the privacy invadin' fuckwads what we think of 'em. mooning has a long and fine tradition as a way of showing defiance, disrespect, and a sense of humor in the face, literally sometimes, of frickin' adversity, absurdity, and assininnity. So let us light up the earth with mirth and buttocks. the next full moon is June 11, @ 1803 Universal Time, according to the u.s. naval gaze-uh-tory. rory calls on naked apes everywhere to moon the sky on june 11. concerted local action is encouraged.



think onnit frendz. if just 1,000,000 asses are bared skyward, we are talking about maybe 200 square miles of ass flesh shining up at the satellites. if your stern is white and bright let it shine the light at night. if it's dark and smooth maybe daytime's right to reveal the groove. it don't matter. be creative. write a message across your ass. shine an ever-lovin' light on your ass. glue sequins on your keester. make a huge illuminated ass effigy. glow in the dark paint yore frickin' caboose. or stick with simply tush. but whatever ya do, let's moon the mofos!!!! june 11. million moon mass ass action. come awn. make it a frickin' moonathon.

21 Comments:

Blogger gugon said...

rory -

I AM THERE BROTHER! COUNT ME IN!

I'll climb up on my roof so they can see it better.

I'll stick a sparkler in my ass so they don't think my pants fell down on accident.

If they want to see inside our lives, let's give em what they want!

7:59 PM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

right on gugon ... now that's extreme mooning

8:21 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

A sparkler in your bum? dude..thats commitment!

8:28 PM  
Blogger Graeme said...

right on!! They are going to catch more than a glimpse of my ass. Maybe I will give them a fruitbasket for good measure

10:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cheeky! hmmm, you just gave me an idea for that 14,000-watt strobe flashlight my husband had to buy. would make my moonbeam visible from outer space. an added benefit would be shocking my bush-base neighbors with a sight they'd never forget. and graeme, it's been awhile, but i believe that's called "blue mooning", usually done in cold winter months. In fact, why only a June full mooning, Rory? Afterall, we may be looking at the last form of free expression left pretty soon. D.K.

11:14 PM  
Blogger Tina said...

Well..... truth be told Mr. Shock... this wouldn't be my first time around the mooning block. And I'm a white girl that can put a sistah's booty to shame.
..... and now I think I found the perfect place to put my bumper sticker that has Bush's goofy face on it with these words: Born Again... Dumber Than Ever.

1:42 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

who got a big ol' butt, a rose is a rose got a big ol' butt OH YEAH! (love that song, can't help m'self)

at first i did think you were kidding about that agency (i had never heard of it prior to reading this posting) but of course you WERE NOT KIDDING, it's out there, it's real. shite i hope they didn't see me that day i..........................

2:18 AM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

strobes, fruit basket, babies what got back, sparklers, bootie stickers ... rory luvzit ... the moonathon is takin' shape ... dk methinks you're right ... let june 11 just be the first day (rory wanted to give enough time to allow the word to spread) a million asses pointed skyward illuminated by strobes and in the case of those who live on the edge, sparklers

3:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Shock:
The NSA will consider mass mooning an act or set of acts that gives aid and comfort to the enemy with the potential to disrupt national security in a time of war and will proceed accordingly. While the exact parameters of the program at which you have chosen to poke fun are classified -- a program designed and intended to be committed to excellence while protecting every American, including your sorry ass -- know this: the nga has the capabilities to create an extremely accurate "moon map," and will use its state of the art equipment to locate with accuracy the exact of level of which is classified but which is substantially less than one meter of deviation every sorry unpatriotic set of buttocks that does not support the worldwide war on terror that this administration is waging for your benefit.

3:09 AM  
Blogger Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

"glue sequins on your keester"...
Hooooooooo Agggggghhhhhhh!

I'd love to make an "ass" out of my moon! "I'm in!"- Wait...Better say, "I'm participating in this Total Eclipse!", sounds better than "I'm in!", when discussing such "ass" matters.
:>)
graeme's fruitbasket idea is a nice touch...

6:42 AM  
Blogger pissed off patricia said...

If they were flying their spys over my pool last summer at night, well, they are already familiar with my little backside smile.

10:58 AM  
Blogger Guerrillas in the Midst said...

While I'd love to jump in the bum-flashin' fun, I don't think my ischial callosities would be very appropriate for the Ass Mass.

Sorry to self-promote, but there's a surprise over at home for you from this past weekend right here:

http://guerrillasinthemidst.blogspot.com/2006/05/weekend-edition-solution-to-all-of-our.html

Moon SUVs from THAT puppy!

3:53 PM  
Blogger sumo said...

Butt rockets are where it's at! Illuminating everything!

12:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Dad, it would appear that the dates are wrong on your blog. I just realized the 16th cannot be right for this post. I check rory pretty frequently to make sure you haven't blogged without letting on.

As for the Million Moons, it would be hilarious if people actually did it, yeah? They should post pictures, though, so we can be sure. I wonder...might the NGA not enjoy looking at people's asses?

And finally, I finally figured why shouldn't I leave a virtual comment just because I can make actual comments to you?

1:48 AM  
Blogger Kathy said...

What a great idea: "Light up the earth with mirth and buttocks."

Now if only I could get DirecTV to capture the moment and beam it back to my TV, life would be perfect.

12:05 PM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

wow, hey celeste ... the posting pictures idea rocks ... but I wonder how many will go for it ... million moon event and photodocumentaion ...

everybody: you really frickin' rock ... by the way I am entirely frickin' serious about his event ... however, I am not sure I have the nerve to post a picture of my ass in flagrante moonecto ...

7:39 PM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

oh, and re: the dates ... I think the date is correct on wanglingo ... or something ... how frickin' cool is it to have your daughter commenting on your blog ... I love this shit ... so Celeste ... how 'bout a poem post ... can I post the one about the dying wolves piled ... ????

pop ... after some of your recent posts I'm sure they were "zoomin' in"

poetryman, you have balls of brass ... let them shine

guerillas ... I tried the link, but then I just went to your site ... I'm actually in the market for a car ... when can I take delivery?

sumo: frickin' A butt rockets ... what good happy harmless, one hopes, fun

kathy ... yeah, live butt cams ... that's the ticket

glenda: maybe google earth will inadvertently post the event ...

7:46 PM  
Blogger Haddock said...

Doesn't the NGA stand for the 'No Gonads Agency' :) They sound like a complete bunch of wankers particularily with ther corporate speak shite about customers and excellence.
The moonathon is a great idea man, shine on! :)

8:20 PM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

hey haddock ... how ya been ... corporate speak shite I think your terminology sums it up ... insane isn't it ... it's a frickin' governmental agency!!!!

3:21 PM  
Blogger JBlue said...

I'm afraid I can't join in. I made my kids promise the neighbors they would give up mooning, so I don't want to encourage them to go back on their word.

5:47 PM  
Blogger Rory Shock said...

that's okay jublu ... we'll find a stand in

8:07 PM  

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