rory reflects on Gonzo's misplaced heart, skunk cabbage, aphrodisiacs, hawks, crows, and domestic surveillance while takin' a walk in the woods
rory went for a walk to clear his mind and ease his body, which worked hard this week. His mind had been poisoned by glancing through the papers and seeing that Gonzo Gonzales and Shrubya were spraying verbal firehose diarrhea from their facial sphincters again on the subject of domestic spying. Basically Gonzo said "fuck this international call limitation bullshit, man. If Shrubya says spy on something totally happenin' in the US with US citizens, without no warrant, no court order, hell we gonna do it." Gonzo, I've seen the frickin' toilet paper with Shrubya's face on it. rory hasn't seen the toilet paper with the 4th Amendment on it. Neverthefrickinless rory understands you have got rolls of custom made asswipes with the Bill of Rights printed on 'em. Fly-On-the-Wall told me you wipe your ass with that stuff, then hold it up in front of your face and smile while you think to yourself, "inherent powers of the executive." That's good Gonzo. I guess you know where your asshole is located. You sure as shit don't know where your frickin' heart is though, do you? rory meanz that both literally and figuratively. Take a look at the following nauseating picture friends, if your stomachs will tolerate it at the moment and take special frickin' note of where Gonzo's right hand is placed:
Hey Gonzo, you fuckwad, last time I checked, you're supposed to put your hand over your HEART when you pledge allegiance to the Republic for which the frickin' flag stands! So what's goin' on here Gonzo? Here are a few possibilities, as rory seez 'em: 1. You don't know where the fuck your heart is. 2. You figure if you hold your hand over your stomach instead of your heart, it's kinda like keepin' your fingers crossed [seein' as how you don't really believe in the Republic for which the flag stands, seein' as how you like to wipe your sanctimonious sphincter with the Bill of Rights]. 3. You don't actually have a frickin' heart. 4. You learned science from a frickin' creationist numbskull who taught you that where you are holding your hand is the frickin' biblical location of the heart.
rory thinkz: "I'm goin' for a walk in the woods. Gonna just groove on nature and nature alone. Contemplate bein' almost a week into the Footwear New Year. Wear the new boots. [rory didn't wear 'em this week because of the kind of work he was doin', mostly from a boat]. Wonderful day for a walk. 40's, some rain, some sleet, then it stopped. Nobody out where rory went. I love "bad" weather. It keeps the hominids away from even the edges of nature in these parts. rory luvz people, mind you, especially the kinds you might meet in the shitty weather. Today I met no hominids on my walk. But it wasn't long before I heard a pair of hawks calling back and forth, just as I approached this Spruce and Pine grove:
I got a good look. Cooper's Hawks. Looking all ruffled from wet windy weather. Occasionally deftly flying short distances from Spruce Branch to Spruce branch. rory was transported. rory had a smile on his face. wet earth covered with needles. occasional cold drop falling on nose, brow or jacket with a "plick." hawks disporting in the trees. one hawk flew off a distance. soon 4 crows arrived. they flew close to the hawk that had stayed in a tree near rory. they loudly yelled at the hawk in their crow language. they were a unity subflock. one of the crows flew out to provoke the hawk to flight, approaching repeatedly, feinting, calling, flying off and returning, as the yells of those remaining in the tree grew louder and more excited. after a few minutes, at a moment when the crows were slightly quieter, perhaps distracted by something, the hawk left its perch, beat its short accipiter wings a couple of times, and made off through the branchs. the conflict had ended without bloodshed. rory took a photo just to show the view up into the trees. by accident the decoy crow appears at the bottom, if you look closely:
April 8. rory introduces new boots to what he learned to call "Adder's Tongue." There are apparently several wildflowers that go by this term, depending upon region. The correct term for the the flower in question is "Trout Lily." It is also called "Dogtooth Violet." But it's not a violet. It's a lily. The bulb favors a dog's tooth. Here's a picture of many Adder's Tongues today.
Soon they will bear pretty yellow flowers. part of the living clock of nature. perhaps rory will be lucky enough to return to this very tree when the Trout Lilies shown here are in bloom:
Iroquois women purportedly chewed the leaves of Trout Lily to "prevent conception." How unfrickin' fundachristianmentalist of them. Pope Ratso condemns Trout Lily as historically discouraging abstinence as a form of birth control. Father Hardon maintained that its use as birth control by Iroquois women caused Iroquois men to become homosexuals.
rory keeps walkin'. he's thinkin' about what Earnest Sagegrouse told him. The government is gonna have cameras everywhere eventually. sensors. thermal imagers. the whole barcode-microchip-gps-transmitter-schtick. rory duznt know if Sage really believes it, or just likes to talk this sort of shit. rory did start to get the feelin' he was bein' watched out there. holy shit, right at that moment he was. rory was able to bring the camera up and get a snap of the woodland spy:
We hominids are alwasy being watched when we walk in the woods. I saw plenty of birds check me out. Robins. Phoebe. Hermit thrush. among others. some of them talked about me. I saw squirrels watching me as they went about their business. who knows how many creatures registered my presence that I'll never know were there. I barely saw a great blue heron in a stream as she flew off at my approach. she perceived me before I perceived her and that's a huge bird. and these whitehouse fuckwads seem to think they invented "domestic spying."
Still testing out his new boots, rory goes for a closer look at the skunk cabbage:
The skunk cabbage is lovely and well-along this April 8. No need to melt snow through thermogenesis, as it does sometimes. One of several plants that heat themselves well above ambient temperatures when necessary.
rory walkz on. within maybe 150 yards of the skunk cabbage, rory comes upon Bloodroot. this is relatively easy to photograph. the flowers are up, but not opened. so beautiful after the rain. the palmate leaves will open soon, as well.
the root is red as the name says. Edgar Cayce apparently used this plant to give himself firehose diarrhea to cleanse his system. Various indigenous North Americans used the plant to dye things red and as a red makeup. According to certain modern day herbalists, bloodroot can make you hurl, as well. Also, they say it can sedate, stimulate, anesthetize, and kill you. But it's usually used by modern herbalists to make you hawk up phlegm, or as the genteel say, as an "expectorant." Others have claimed that it can be used as an aphrodisiac or a love charm. rory is a little reluctant to even mention this last use, as I expect a bunch of crazy fuckers to head outdoors looking for all the bloodroot they can find, digging it up, drying it, and selling it in some frickin' chinatown market along with shark fin, rhino horn, tiger prick, or some other such thing as a hominid-pecker-rigidity-enhancer. the "wild" stuff will go for 10 times as much as the "domestic" variety, no doubt. Crazy frickin' naked apes! rory sez, don't go dig up all the frickin' blood root. you won't get wood because you'll be pukin', coughin up phlegm, and simultaneously shit-spackling the interior of the porcelain throne if you fuck with this plant, not to mention possibly leaving your fucking earthly container altogether. so just be content with enjoying how bloodroot looks. by the frickin' way [any of you crazy male aphrodisiac seekers that got here through some googledipitous happenstance] did I tell you that strawberry yoohoo will make your love tool harder than shark fin? all you stupid fuckwads who are contributing to the decimation of the world shark population in the hopes of a hardon: drink strawberry yoohoo instead! hey droopy-donged-dimwits: just 'cause a rhino horn is rigid and upright doesn't mean that eating bits of it will make that hangin' skin in your crotch reach for the stars! by that logic, why don't you grind up a frickin' flagpole and mix it in your oatmeal? strawbery yoohoo, fuckwads. leave nature alone. get a tool implant. take viagra or whatever they're sellin' now. drink strawberry yoohoo. stop killin' sharks.
On my way back, I get the frickin' feeling that I'm being watched again. Holy Shit! I think Sage was right.
Warning to you imbeciles who might ingest shit without knowing what you are doing: Don't eat wild plants. If you don't know what you are doing, you might kill yourself, spontaneously become hermaphroditic, or completely alter your personality without realizing it. Remember kids, respect nature. If you don't, sooner or later it will fuck you up. with roryshock apologies to usual faithful readers of intelligence, good taste, and discretion.
All photos except the one of Gonzo holdin' his gut and W feeling his nipple through his jacket taken by rory on April 8, 2006. Sorry I was gone so long.
Hey Gonzo, you fuckwad, last time I checked, you're supposed to put your hand over your HEART when you pledge allegiance to the Republic for which the frickin' flag stands! So what's goin' on here Gonzo? Here are a few possibilities, as rory seez 'em: 1. You don't know where the fuck your heart is. 2. You figure if you hold your hand over your stomach instead of your heart, it's kinda like keepin' your fingers crossed [seein' as how you don't really believe in the Republic for which the flag stands, seein' as how you like to wipe your sanctimonious sphincter with the Bill of Rights]. 3. You don't actually have a frickin' heart. 4. You learned science from a frickin' creationist numbskull who taught you that where you are holding your hand is the frickin' biblical location of the heart.
rory thinkz: "I'm goin' for a walk in the woods. Gonna just groove on nature and nature alone. Contemplate bein' almost a week into the Footwear New Year. Wear the new boots. [rory didn't wear 'em this week because of the kind of work he was doin', mostly from a boat]. Wonderful day for a walk. 40's, some rain, some sleet, then it stopped. Nobody out where rory went. I love "bad" weather. It keeps the hominids away from even the edges of nature in these parts. rory luvz people, mind you, especially the kinds you might meet in the shitty weather. Today I met no hominids on my walk. But it wasn't long before I heard a pair of hawks calling back and forth, just as I approached this Spruce and Pine grove:
I got a good look. Cooper's Hawks. Looking all ruffled from wet windy weather. Occasionally deftly flying short distances from Spruce Branch to Spruce branch. rory was transported. rory had a smile on his face. wet earth covered with needles. occasional cold drop falling on nose, brow or jacket with a "plick." hawks disporting in the trees. one hawk flew off a distance. soon 4 crows arrived. they flew close to the hawk that had stayed in a tree near rory. they loudly yelled at the hawk in their crow language. they were a unity subflock. one of the crows flew out to provoke the hawk to flight, approaching repeatedly, feinting, calling, flying off and returning, as the yells of those remaining in the tree grew louder and more excited. after a few minutes, at a moment when the crows were slightly quieter, perhaps distracted by something, the hawk left its perch, beat its short accipiter wings a couple of times, and made off through the branchs. the conflict had ended without bloodshed. rory took a photo just to show the view up into the trees. by accident the decoy crow appears at the bottom, if you look closely:
April 8. rory introduces new boots to what he learned to call "Adder's Tongue." There are apparently several wildflowers that go by this term, depending upon region. The correct term for the the flower in question is "Trout Lily." It is also called "Dogtooth Violet." But it's not a violet. It's a lily. The bulb favors a dog's tooth. Here's a picture of many Adder's Tongues today.
Soon they will bear pretty yellow flowers. part of the living clock of nature. perhaps rory will be lucky enough to return to this very tree when the Trout Lilies shown here are in bloom:
Iroquois women purportedly chewed the leaves of Trout Lily to "prevent conception." How unfrickin' fundachristianmentalist of them. Pope Ratso condemns Trout Lily as historically discouraging abstinence as a form of birth control. Father Hardon maintained that its use as birth control by Iroquois women caused Iroquois men to become homosexuals.
rory keeps walkin'. he's thinkin' about what Earnest Sagegrouse told him. The government is gonna have cameras everywhere eventually. sensors. thermal imagers. the whole barcode-microchip-gps-transmitter-schtick. rory duznt know if Sage really believes it, or just likes to talk this sort of shit. rory did start to get the feelin' he was bein' watched out there. holy shit, right at that moment he was. rory was able to bring the camera up and get a snap of the woodland spy:
We hominids are alwasy being watched when we walk in the woods. I saw plenty of birds check me out. Robins. Phoebe. Hermit thrush. among others. some of them talked about me. I saw squirrels watching me as they went about their business. who knows how many creatures registered my presence that I'll never know were there. I barely saw a great blue heron in a stream as she flew off at my approach. she perceived me before I perceived her and that's a huge bird. and these whitehouse fuckwads seem to think they invented "domestic spying."
Still testing out his new boots, rory goes for a closer look at the skunk cabbage:
The skunk cabbage is lovely and well-along this April 8. No need to melt snow through thermogenesis, as it does sometimes. One of several plants that heat themselves well above ambient temperatures when necessary.
rory walkz on. within maybe 150 yards of the skunk cabbage, rory comes upon Bloodroot. this is relatively easy to photograph. the flowers are up, but not opened. so beautiful after the rain. the palmate leaves will open soon, as well.
the root is red as the name says. Edgar Cayce apparently used this plant to give himself firehose diarrhea to cleanse his system. Various indigenous North Americans used the plant to dye things red and as a red makeup. According to certain modern day herbalists, bloodroot can make you hurl, as well. Also, they say it can sedate, stimulate, anesthetize, and kill you. But it's usually used by modern herbalists to make you hawk up phlegm, or as the genteel say, as an "expectorant." Others have claimed that it can be used as an aphrodisiac or a love charm. rory is a little reluctant to even mention this last use, as I expect a bunch of crazy fuckers to head outdoors looking for all the bloodroot they can find, digging it up, drying it, and selling it in some frickin' chinatown market along with shark fin, rhino horn, tiger prick, or some other such thing as a hominid-pecker-rigidity-enhancer. the "wild" stuff will go for 10 times as much as the "domestic" variety, no doubt. Crazy frickin' naked apes! rory sez, don't go dig up all the frickin' blood root. you won't get wood because you'll be pukin', coughin up phlegm, and simultaneously shit-spackling the interior of the porcelain throne if you fuck with this plant, not to mention possibly leaving your fucking earthly container altogether. so just be content with enjoying how bloodroot looks. by the frickin' way [any of you crazy male aphrodisiac seekers that got here through some googledipitous happenstance] did I tell you that strawberry yoohoo will make your love tool harder than shark fin? all you stupid fuckwads who are contributing to the decimation of the world shark population in the hopes of a hardon: drink strawberry yoohoo instead! hey droopy-donged-dimwits: just 'cause a rhino horn is rigid and upright doesn't mean that eating bits of it will make that hangin' skin in your crotch reach for the stars! by that logic, why don't you grind up a frickin' flagpole and mix it in your oatmeal? strawbery yoohoo, fuckwads. leave nature alone. get a tool implant. take viagra or whatever they're sellin' now. drink strawberry yoohoo. stop killin' sharks.
On my way back, I get the frickin' feeling that I'm being watched again. Holy Shit! I think Sage was right.
Warning to you imbeciles who might ingest shit without knowing what you are doing: Don't eat wild plants. If you don't know what you are doing, you might kill yourself, spontaneously become hermaphroditic, or completely alter your personality without realizing it. Remember kids, respect nature. If you don't, sooner or later it will fuck you up. with roryshock apologies to usual faithful readers of intelligence, good taste, and discretion.
All photos except the one of Gonzo holdin' his gut and W feeling his nipple through his jacket taken by rory on April 8, 2006. Sorry I was gone so long.
posted by Rory Shock at 5:34 PM
16 Comments:
ahhhh, great to see ya back. Loved the nature pics, even learned a new fact: plants can heat themselves! I had no idea. Wonder if your skunk cabbage is related to skunk weed we had in So Cal. Kinda looked like a tall tobacco plant, but smelled like bad meth human sweat?
I've only seen a Great Blue Heron once ... he was recovering from being gunshot by idiot-jerk kids. He took up the whole bed the wildlife rescue person laid him out on. All bandaged & sedated, he still opened up one eye to stare at me as I gasped at his beauty.
And, rory, everyone knows the best aphrodisiac is a big brain. Maybe so-called natural enhancers should be directed toward feeding of the mind. D.K.
hey dk ... good to be back ... love your comment ... interesting stuff ... like the great blue laid out recovering ... skunk weed ... not familiar with plant by that name ... curious though ... yeah re: aphrodisiacs ... I suppose the rhino horn and that stuff have a "placebo" effect due to the big brain ... that's why I'm recommending strawberry yoohoo ... that and the fact that a guy down the street swears by it ... reminds me too much of pepto bismal though
rory, you're up late! Since you weren't familiar with skunk weed, I googled it & learned another new fact (new to me). Skunk weed is another name for cannibis! Now that is definitely NOT what was growing wild all around my old neighborhood. And yeah, the Great Blue ... I very badly wanted to stroke his feathers, but it might have upset him, he must have felt so vulnerable stretched out & bandaged up like that. The rescue gal told me they were lucky one of the kids actually felt bad about it & called them to come get him right away. D.K.
i loved the weather yesterday as well. first rain then it tried so very hard to snow, then a bit of hail/sleet. i didn't walk very far as i had my flip flops on.
i have observed crows ganging up on other birds too. they are amazing and i do love them so.
we have a brook running trough town (trout brook) where you can find all sorts of skunk cabbage (as well as all types of other growths)
now as for bloodroot, there is a very good restaurant in bridgeport called, of all things: bloodroot. not only run by LESBIANS AND VEGETARIAN as well. if you're ever in that area, i DO recommend it
as usual, beautiful pictures mr shock, my favorite being the tree truck with bits o' leaves
rose: thanks ... the restaurant looks awesome ... i'll keep it in the cranial file and hopefully get to stop there at some point ... on the way from hither to yon ... re: crows ... I usually see them ganging up on redtails ... always amusing ... sometimes it seems to be about territory, but knowing crows, I think its a sport/recreational activity as well ... it's fascinating when there's a good sized flock of crows taking turns diving the back of the redtail, with a regular rythm and pattern and much vocal communication, as always ...
Thanks for taking me along on another walk. I learned stuff too. :)
Down here the idiots dig up the sea turtle eggs and sell them because they say they will "get it up" for any guy. Bastards usually manage to steal a few hundred each nesting season.
Someone should start the rumor that hard work will result in other things getting "hard"
I appreciate the nature photos. I have been keeping my eye on a little area of lilies that bloom every year in a spooky property not far from our home here in Seattle. The Burke Museum wildflower infor site identifies these lilies as "fawn lilies," or erythro....something... revolutum.
They have leaves similar to those you showed, but have curled white, pink, or pink-tinged petaled blooms that hang down.
Getting away from the daily evil manure spreading of our government is necessary.
pop ... sea turtle eggs! ... hello morons! who are these people and where do they get their "ideas?"
glenda: sounds beautiful ... (the nature and the canyonland) ... roryz happy you got a laugh too ...
Isabelita: I'll check out pix of your fawn lilies ... sound really close except the color ... niice ...
Great walk and reflections. We're never truly alone when in nature, but the nature of mans observations is often questionable.
roger that loc
Wow - I learned a lot from this post. Thanks, rory, and good to have you back.
According to Gloria, Gonzo is placing his hand over his diaphragm.
Loved the walk in the woods. I felt like I was there.
Your juxtaposition of white house idiocy with the beauty and balance of nature was very powerful.
Damn good post! (And I can never get enough of the body parts in the trees!)
hey gugon ... thanks ... thanks for checkin' it out ... man I'm glad you've got gloria there to ask about these anatomical details ... his diaphragm ... fuckwad really doesn't know where his heart is ... "okay boys and girls, place your hands on your diaphragms for the pledge of allegiance..." even w knows where to put the hand: on the nipple of course ... idiocy and beauty juxtaposed ... that's what makes life so frickin' baffling and funny sometimes, er somethin', eh gugon, me friend?
Abu Ghraib Gonzales had his hand on a diaphragm??? Do the freako fundamentalists know this?? They just may have to report him to the Pharmacists- Who- Refuse- to- Their- Fucking- Job- and- Fill- the- Goddamned- Prescriptions- Union for such pro-birth control actions..... ;)
And Gonzo obviously doesn't even know where the diaphragm goes.
hi, rory, I haven't been reading your blog long enough to know whether the combined nature walks and ruminations are a regular feature, but I do hope they continue...we are roughly at the same latitude, so we have much the same mix of flora and fauna, but the arrival here of what you've chronicled is delayed...I look forward to the arrival of hermit thrush in my little patch of second growth forest, their song is the sweetest sound on earth, to me...phoebes and robins en masse were here last week, the robin's song is a pleasant alternative to that of their relatives, the thrushes, and a pair of phoebes is preparing to nest again in the eaves of my home...i heard their cheerful chirp this morning as the sun began to warm the day...
BTW, Gonzo appears to have his hand over his spleen which, according to the ancients, is the seat of anger, vexation and melancholy, hence a fit of ill-humour or latent spite froom a depressed person may be forthcoming...
maineiac ... thanks for your comment ... lovely ... yeah the hermit thrush and the wood thrush for that matter ... their flutings are a delight that make the heart glad ... I'll probably be continuing the walking ruminations ... in some ways they are the most "me" thing I've done in this blog yet, I think ...
ah ... the spleen ... what you say makes mucho sense ...
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